Welcome back! It's been a couple of weeks since my last posting. There were a couple of reasons for the delay between postings. One reason is that I have been battling a wicked double-sinus infection. I still only feel like I'm at about 90% health, so that fight goes on.
The other reason is that I had an incident that I wanted to write about, but I needed some time to step back from it. One of the things that has always seemed a little "strange" about my desire to be a peacemaker is that I spent a portion of my life seeking almost anything other than peace. I wasn't overtly violent, but I was certainly willing to jump into a conflict. And if there wasn't a conflict handy enough, I wouldn't hesitate to create one on my own. But that was the "old me". For the past 15+ years, I have truly made an effort to be less contentious.
A couple of weeks ago, however, I saw that old part of me rear its ugly head. Not the part that went looking for trouble, but the part of me that was willing to "burn down" relationships because of what I perceived as an insult to my character. The terrible irony, of course, is that I probably did more to injure my character in those two minutes of rage than would have ever been done by the comments that had been made. And that brings me to the point of this posting...
Sometimes, the best thing we can do during a confrontation is walk away.
That's right, sometimes "in the heat of the moment", it's not just okay to walk away. It is the best thing to do. Unfortunately, it's all too easy for us to get caught up in defending our position in an argument; or to feel like if we press our position just a bit more the other side will give in. When our emotions start to get away from us, or when it becomes more about our pride (instead of the situation), then we should take a time-out and walk away. Nothing is gained by losing control of your temper, and often much more than your temper is lost. Fortunately, in my case, the people involved were gracious enough to not hold my outburst against me. But we shouldn't put ourselves in the position of relying upon the grace of others when it comes to having an encounter that doesn't "go our way". Learn your own warning signs to an impending outburst and then be willing to just walk away.
That's right, sometimes "in the heat of the moment", it's not just okay to walk away. It is the best thing to do. Unfortunately, it's all too easy for us to get caught up in defending our position in an argument; or to feel like if we press our position just a bit more the other side will give in. When our emotions start to get away from us, or when it becomes more about our pride (instead of the situation), then we should take a time-out and walk away. Nothing is gained by losing control of your temper, and often much more than your temper is lost. Fortunately, in my case, the people involved were gracious enough to not hold my outburst against me. But we shouldn't put ourselves in the position of relying upon the grace of others when it comes to having an encounter that doesn't "go our way". Learn your own warning signs to an impending outburst and then be willing to just walk away.
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