The weather here in eastern Kansas has been pretty stormy the past few days. The mornings have been nice enough, but by mid-afternoon the clouds start to build up and soon we're hearing the storm warnings.
You may be wondering what this has to do with conflict management.
After all, you did come here expecting to read about it. So here's the thing; relationships are kind of like the springtime weather in eastern Kansas. Lots of times they start out great. You know, the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and everything feels fresh. And just like some spring days start out with rain, some relationships start out less than ideal. But regardless of how it starts, in every relationship there eventually comes a time where there are storms. Moving on with the weather analogy, I could launch into a long, and detailed, explanation of how during the spring months the great plains becomes a demolition derby arena for cool dry air masses from the north, and warm moist air masses from the south. But instead, I'll just say the result of these two masses colliding is often spectacular and/or devastating. Again, how does this relate to conflict management?
To start, try thinking about how, within a conflict situation, your feelings are like one of these air masses. It doesn't really matter whether you associate more with the cool dry air, or the warm moist air. Add to that the idea that whichever air mass you are, the other party to the conflict has feelings that are associated with the opposite kind of air mass. Jumping back to our weather analogy, the later into the day it is when the two air masses collide, the more devastating the results are. This happens because each of those masses grows larger, and builds up energy during the day. However, if the collision between air masses happens earlier the result is more likely to be a somewhat pleasant rain shower. When we try to delay, or avoid, a confrontation it is like waiting until later in the day for the collision of those air masses. Each side of the conflict builds up more emotion and determination that the direction they are headed is the "right" direction. The longer we wait to confront the situation (and the other party), the more likely our meeting will be like a tornado. How do confrontations go for you?
Do you wait until you're faced with a tornado? Or do you confront the other party earlier, looking for a more pleasant outcome?
After all, you did come here expecting to read about it. So here's the thing; relationships are kind of like the springtime weather in eastern Kansas. Lots of times they start out great. You know, the birds are singing, the sun is shining, and everything feels fresh. And just like some spring days start out with rain, some relationships start out less than ideal. But regardless of how it starts, in every relationship there eventually comes a time where there are storms. Moving on with the weather analogy, I could launch into a long, and detailed, explanation of how during the spring months the great plains becomes a demolition derby arena for cool dry air masses from the north, and warm moist air masses from the south. But instead, I'll just say the result of these two masses colliding is often spectacular and/or devastating. Again, how does this relate to conflict management?
To start, try thinking about how, within a conflict situation, your feelings are like one of these air masses. It doesn't really matter whether you associate more with the cool dry air, or the warm moist air. Add to that the idea that whichever air mass you are, the other party to the conflict has feelings that are associated with the opposite kind of air mass. Jumping back to our weather analogy, the later into the day it is when the two air masses collide, the more devastating the results are. This happens because each of those masses grows larger, and builds up energy during the day. However, if the collision between air masses happens earlier the result is more likely to be a somewhat pleasant rain shower. When we try to delay, or avoid, a confrontation it is like waiting until later in the day for the collision of those air masses. Each side of the conflict builds up more emotion and determination that the direction they are headed is the "right" direction. The longer we wait to confront the situation (and the other party), the more likely our meeting will be like a tornado. How do confrontations go for you?
Do you wait until you're faced with a tornado? Or do you confront the other party earlier, looking for a more pleasant outcome?
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