What is Conflict?

Part 1 - Defining Conflict

One of the underlying issues in managing conflict is the ability to identify, and acknowledge, when a conflict is occurring. Most of us believe that we can always spot a conflict, especially when we are one of the parties in conflict. Unfortunately, this isn't as true as we might think. While many of us will recognize the kind of conflict that is exposed through open hostility, the fact is that a lot of conflict occurs before there are any overt signs of aggression. By the time there is an open confrontation, the conflict has usually existed for awhile.

When asked "What is a conflict?", it is not unusual for people to respond with answers like...

• a fight
• an argument
• a yelling match
• a war

All of these are outward signs of a conflict. They are all possible (and unhealthy) forms of confrontation, which arise from a conflict. If we wait until a conflict reaches one of these points of confrontation, before acknowledging the conflicts in our lives, then it is no wonder that our society has such a negative view of conflict. One of the things that we must overcome in learning to manage conflict is the idea that the conflict itself is bad, or evil.

Here's an analogy to help us understand why it is important to learn to manage conflict. Conflict is like a car...

• both require skill to manage effectively
• practice is required to become more skilled in managing
• an inability to manage either one is dangerous for ourselves, and for those around us
• as we advance in skill, we are able to maneuver more difficult challenges

To summarize, conflict is not confined to the confrontation. Conflict happens when people disagree with each other.

In Part 2 we will begin to address

"How do we recognize conflict?"